~ Katy of the Tillamook Team

But, Cheese! what light cracks on your cheddar loaves?
It is the yeast, and Tillamook is the sun.
Arise, fair Curd, and melt the envious mouth,
Who is already weakened from lonesome despair.
Thy shall cherish her in slices or dices,
No more pure than White, on winter’s morn.

Her vestal mold pulses with natural ventricles,
With unworldly shapes unimaginative to most.
Her delight is lost for unworthy fools and foes,
For she neither speaks! nor whispers, tis Swiss.

As unworthy Kings-men become young broods,
Whilst inquiring into thine mouth, sweet Tilla-Moos.
Nor Your innocence be not forsaken,
As fair maiden Colby be not forgotten.

For he who voyages Cheese-less waters,
Shall Sharply announce such foolish ways.
As birds laugh and dance and twinkle to shore,
‘Tis cheddar afoot on fair Oregon’s beachside door.

Neither man’s arm or sword can seek Smoky richness,
For truth, love, and beauty be not achieved in fight.
A heaven denying true love, myself, a man! and Sir PepperJack, a Man!
To Us be damned! to a fiery, and melty hell!

… Alright enough with the poetry. I hate poetry. I just spent a lot of time trying to recall Romeo and Juliet when I hate Romeo and Juliet! Why would I do this? Simple. For CHEESE! I love cheese. I would do anything for cheese. I would ride a blindfolded 3-legged horse into battle for a block of cheese. Cheddar? Mozzarella? Swiss? I don’t care. I love it all!

Did I mention I love cheese? I eat cheese in the morning. I eat cheese in the evening. I eat cheese when I’m not eating cheese! When people ask “would you like cheese and crackers?” I say, “No! I want cheese and more cheese. And while your at it, bring that expensive cheese you’ve been hiding in that secret drawer in your fridge!” Cheapskate.

You know that show about hoarding? Well, that’s me! I hoard cheese! I hoard cheese at work. I hoard cheese at home. I even hoard cheese in my dreams. My therapist gives me advice but I can’t hear them over all the squeaking. So I continue to hoard cheese.

Also, you know why I like Spongebob Squarepants? Because he looks like cheese! I like a cartoon character because he looks like cheese! (Hence the therapist)

What I’m trying to say is that I LOVE CHEESE! The Cheese needs my expertise, passion, and desire so that we see the rightful Grilled Cheese sitting atop the podium. There may be more qualified Cheese aficionados but I have something they do not have; heart (did I mention my heart looks like a well-aged block of Colby?). I’m like the Keanu Reeves of Cheese. I’ve been fighting the Matrix all my life for this moment. If you bestow upon me this opportunity to sit as a judge at your esteemed Grilled Cheese competition I assure you will be proud. Thank you. Cheese bless you. And Cheese bless The United States of Cheese!